The Marquee Signs That Had The Whole Town Laughing (Continued)

A play on the age old saying of “an apple a day keeps the doctor away”. This adaptation of the old phrase also can also apply to other more dangerous objects like dumbells. But if you think apples will get the job done then be my guest. One thing it might not keep away is lions, throwing an apple at a lion probably wouldn’t work as a proper self defense weapon.





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This sign pointing out that it is cold outside while playing the movie “Frozen” might be a little on the nose, but hey…they probably just couldn’t “Let it go”. You know what else is cold, the fact that Idina Menzel had to sing in front of a room filled with animators so they could observe and illustrate each of her movements. 





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True indeed.





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Depressed? Feeling amazing? Doesn’t matter, either way you are gonna have a drink. It’s like the Matrix scene with the red and blue pill except both outcomes are the exact same with you having a drink. No matter what is going on in your life, whether you are happy or sad all roads lead to Two Floors restaurant for a drink.




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I love this particular sign because of its simplicity. This store’s coffee is supposedly so incredible of an experience that no complex sign outside of their shop is required. If a chalk advertisement is unable to truly represent the quality of the coffee, then this has to be the greatest beverage known to mankind.





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Finally, we have found it. The world’s one and only cat factory. I have been tracking this feline manufacturer down for years trying to expose the fact that cats are not natural creatures and are created in a factory. This explains everything from the mysterious spine-chilling glares, the glowing eyes, and the weird noises cats make. This finally proves that cats are unnatural beings.





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Cheese is one of my favorite things to eat in this world. Aged gouda, swiss, feta, munster, stilton and nacho cheese, cheese is one of the most delicious foods in the world. This sign is a great example of what it means to appreciate cheese and the use of the song Sweet Dreams by Eurythmics adds a nice and creative touch. They did a gouda job with this sign, if you don’t like it….your a muenster.





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Finally a place where you can store your elves…..Elf Storage. This must be where they send all the little toy elf on a shelfs that all the kids play with during Christmas time. The world needs a place where we can keep our pointy hats and extra gift wrap. 




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Well at least they’re honest. I feel like nasty is a word that can be used to describe pretty much every buffett you come into contact with nowadays. Buffets completely ruin the dining experience. Having to get up every ten minutes to serve yourself some mediocre at best quality food is not how dining should be, but at least this one is upfront and honest about it.





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Welcome to Walgreens where you can have a full hour of poo! What a deal! Except that I can get that for free at my own house in a clean bathroom. Thanks Walgreens, but no thanks. I’d rather enjoy my 1-HR poo on my own time and in my own house. Could be a good idea though if you have ever felt rushed in a public restroom, just go head on over to Walgreens and enjoy a 1-HR poo without any disturbances. 





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“Alcohol and calculus don’t mix, so don’t drink and derive”. Typically, I would say refrain from the math jokes since you don’t want people thinking your bar is lame. But in this case, the joke works and has a good message behind it: “don’t drink and derive”. Just remember: Why did the bartender get upset when someone called him average?? I was a mean thing to say.





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What if someone ran for president under the campaign slogan of “I’ll tell you everything they tell me.” That person would win the election in a heartbeat. But until the day when transparency reigns supreme, we settle for hilarious yard signs about a cracking empire! Cheers!




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This is a sign I can get behind because I myself have never been confident in my spelling, and Hannukah is one of those words that is incredibly confusing. The Cross of Christ Church uses this as an attempt to lure patrons to their facility, and though spelling should not be the only reason to consider a change of religion; it definitely should be considered.





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What could possibly go wrong with this combination? Probably a lot of emotional health and wellness in that group. They may not know how to handle themselves in a lunch line scuffle – but at least they will know how to unmute themselves on Zoom?





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From a reliable source this time, please. Like your cousin’s neighbor, Don. Yeah, the one with the hunting buddy who went to high school with the younger Bush. Yeah, him. What’s his take on all this?





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This bar is advertising that zombies prefer their brains to have living cells. So, seems like  a good place to be if you need to avoid the zombie apocalypse. Everyone should just head to the nearest local dive bar in their town and hunker down until the zombie apocalypse passes by.




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Here’s a fun idea, go visit Wallaby’s liquor warehouse and start pulling items off of the shelves. Then, repeatedly pester the employees working there and ask them if the bottle you are holding is in stock. Keep doing this over and over again, as the joke will only become funnier as you keep going.





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Hey maybe you shouldn’t advertise cool ranch doritos locos tacos if you don’t have them, probably gonna make someone very disappointed. The booze better be good if you want to make up for that false advertisement. Fun Fact: Taco Bell in china has a variety of alcohol options in their restaurants ranging from ice-cold beer on draft and specialty cocktails like the Margarita and the Mojito.





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If your burger was voted “ best burger in town” by some guy who likes burgers, then that is all I need to be there. There is no better critic for a good burger than someone who likes burgers. In fact, I would say it is the most important metric when it comes to the quality and taste of a burger.





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This is an incredible piece of artwork that displays an offering of free bacon with an awesome batman illustration. Everyone loves bacon, and everyone REALLY loves free bacon. When you combine the two, you get what should be the greatest attractor of customers known to mankind.




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A huge thank you for allowing our unemployed staff to return to work. A huge no thank you for making our unemployed staff return to work. We were enjoying the extended vacation, thanks.




Up Next: More marquee signs that had everyone laughing!

This is an amazing example of American Advertising at its best. If the store here has false advertising, then this advertisement about having free beer must also be false. Then again, it also means they have free beer! So if you or anyone you know is interested in free beer, then please go ahead and visit Stevens Creek Wine & Spirit.




Keep the funny going! Check out these Hilarious Airport Signs!