50 Funny Windshield Notes

Advertisement
Advertisement
Advertisement

Ahhh, hell hath no fury like a driver scorned. When you’ve been boxed in, or sideswiped, or kept out of your reserved parking lot – what do you do? Smash a window? Call the cops? Nope. Not these warriors, these warriors took action via a passive aggressive, yet hilarious note. You’re going to laugh at these notes, there’s no doubt. So enough talk, and enjoy!

12snow

Simple, direct, easy to understand, but temporary. With a little luck you can swipe away the message before anyone has had a chance to see it and recognize your car. Now a really creative note sender would have used a more dramatic method of writing in the snow than just using a finger. If that technique had been utilized, there may been an aromatic “after-message” that would have made a more compelling statement.

Saw

Don’t brag about your bad parking behavior. Somebody is sure to point out your transgressions to the cops. This appears to be a U.K. note and could result in the driver receiving a stern talking to by the traffic warden. If this had been NYC or Chicago, you would get the boot slapped on a wheel and the cops would watch your car rust away over the months. Just remember Mama’s advice “stupid is as stupid does” to avoid unnecessary interaction with the police.

Yeah, if you could just go ahead and learn how to be a human being, that would be great.

grumpy cat

Getting towed might be preferable to being scratched and bitten by a rabid cat from hell. This note took some creative effort but you have to wonder, what kind of person uses their pet to threaten strangers? What’s Grumpy going to do? Sit on the roof and wait for you to show up? Hiss really loudly when you do? Cat people…go figure.

Congrats

If you have never won a trophy or been given a plaque, these kinds of professionally printed window notes can be a real ego booster. If they are not too badly damaged by the weather, you can frame them and hang them in the den. You can create your own Lousy Parking Hall of Shame. This one is particularly special citing superior skills (two spaces – one small car) and record breaking endurance. Consider it validation of your effort to be the best you can be.

box-you-in

Try not to offend a hit man with your parking behavior. This note is very professional, well crafted, sets out the terms and consequences, and should have you scared witless. In fairness, the note writer spells out in detail what you have to do to avoid any unpleasantness. The part that is a little vague and open to interpretation is the threat to “box you in.” That may means simply blocking your vehicle from moving, or possibly stuffing you in a coffin.

Stevie WOnder

This one was written by someone who obviously does not know Stevie Wonder. Little Stevie Wonder has been pulling in mega bucks from his music career since he was nine years old. He never drove anywhere much less parked. He needed not. He could afford limos and chauffeurs. On the other hand, maybe that’s what they were implying. You park like you were taught by someone who did not know how.

cane-in-auto

Note sending in reverse. This driver’s brilliant note to anyone who spotted his four legged pal locked in the car makes it clear that Fido is enjoying a spa day while his owner is running chores. On the practical side, babies and pets locked in a car in warm weather are instant 911 call bait. Windows can run $250 to $500 to replace. This driver is not only taking care of his pal, but avoiding an expensive repair job as well. We’re guessing the number one song on Fido’s play list is “Who Let the Dogs Out.”

Feel Bad

There’s just something deeply disturbing about this note. The child like handwriting and illustration suggest the work of a mass murderer or certain politicians. At any rate, this person is most likely dangerous and may be lurking near your ride to make sure you feel BAD. Take this one seriously. Check out your back seat before you get in and use the experience as a learning lesson on improving your parking behavior.

Please, just fix it. That’s it. That’s all we need you to do is not wake me up with your car alarm.

parking spot

This note leaver gets an A+ for their choice of message media. Shaving cream is traditionally used to decorate newlywed’s car with  embarrassing messages. Using it to  deliver a parking complaint shows creativity and accomplishes pretty much the same embarrassing results. Depending on the weather and how long the cream is allowed to sit on the glass, it can become a real challenge to get off particularly if you discover it as you’re leaving for work and running late.

sardine

The British are so polite. “Park with manners.” Seriously? And they drive those little cars so it’s not surprising they can pack more cars in a parking lot than an American lot of the same size. I guess you could say the British pack them in like sardines. On the other hand, straying outside the parking spot lines in the UK is probably easier to do and probably does rely on manners to make people focus on parking correctly.

squirrels

And you bought your car because you thought it would be chick bait. As it turns out, the only one getting lucky in (or on) your ride are a couple of furry rodents. And you get official notification in writing from what appears to be a parking lot attendant. Now we all want to think that a parking lot attendant will keep an eye out to make sure our car isn’t stolen or to identify the bum who backs into or otherwise damages it. This attendant apparently had too much time on his hands.

ticket

Simple but effective best describes this note which is a favorite of many note posters. Hoping you’ll mistake this piece of paper for an actual ticket or notice from a property owner that the tow truck is on the way, is a pretty common ploy perpetuated by persons offended by your lack of parking skills. On the other hand, it lacks the compelling personal touch that makes it really memorable. Notes that call you names, threaten bodily harm, or include spooky drawings have a much bigger impact.

The-bottom-below-rock-bottom

A passive approach to car security. The good news is, nobody is going to curse you because of a faulty alarm system because you don’t need one with this approach. Politely informing a would be car thief that there is nothing of value to steal saves both of you time and disappointment. The bad news is, if the thief has just visited his purveyor of fine pharmaceuticals, he’s still going to use his screwdriver to pop your passenger side window ($300) so he can grab that attractive pine scent auto freshener dangling from the rear view mirror because it glints in the moonlight. Go figure.

Spot

The person who left this flyer is not as dangerous as the guy with the You Suck at Parking business cards but he or she still is a bit obsessed. Imagine coming up with the artwork, crafting the cute text, having copies made, and then keeping a supply in their car. This thing isn’t a card that fits in your wallet. This takes up space. This person has a real problem with sloppy parkers and probably does believe you were taught to park by Stevie Wonder

bread

This windshield message is downright diabolical. Sure, “stop parking here” is pretty generic and not very compelling, but the “free bread” part is what the driver should be aware of. Who would eat free bread that’s stuck under a dirty windshield wiper? Birds, that’s who. That bread is a bird buffet waiting for it’s first customer. And birds have a tendency to poop copiously after eating. Bird poop can eat right through car paint. With a little luck, the bread may attract squirrels before the birds arrive. Their little sharp claws will  scratch up some paint but at least there won’t be any bird poo.

ruining my life

Seeking mercy and then blaming and shaming is not a good mix of messaging. Actually, taping the three previous tickets to the inside of the windshield might deter getting another one. Failing to display a permit is a violation you can only be hung once for. Seeing that you’re well covered in tickets and knowing you will only be fined once may convince the cop to give you a pass. But then you go and say he is ruining your life…not a good choice of wording.

crazy

Little known musical trivia. The original inspiration for Carly Rae Jepsen’s Call Me Maybe was an SUV blocking two spaces in front of her condo. Her publicist was the one who talked her into changing the lyrics to tell the story about hooking up with a stranger. In this instance, the neighbors used the original lyrics to voice their complaint about sloppy parking.

potato

 

Parking PigJust a reminder, lynch mobs were made up of neighbors. Anytime a community pulls together and funds a spiffy piece of print messaging, you can bet they are intent on maintaining order in the hood. If you have an uncontrollable urge to “park like a pig,” don’t do it in your own backyard. Go down a couple of blocks where it will be easy to slink out and slink back in without being recognized. Tape this note to your dash to remind you of your need for good behavior in the neighborhood.

lonely

This one is hard to figure out. Maybe you are lonely and some caring soul is just trying to reach out and provide some comfort. Or maybe your ex left it just to rub it in. Or, in this crazy world, maybe some sicko wants to abduct you and hold you hostage in a cabin in the woods. We suggest proceeding with caution. Check out the back seat before you get in, lock the doors, and keep an eye on the rear view mirror to see if you are being followed.

in the lines

Sarcastic but helpful and instructional at the same time. Sure you “parked like a pig” but this note sender is giving you an opportunity to do something that will prevent that from happening again. Save this note. Take it home, get out your crayons and carefully color in the turtle. The next day, park carefully in the same space, put the note under the windshield and sign it “Thanks!” You’ll feel better and if the note sender sees it they may think you’re less of a jerk than they thought you were.

Dislike

This note demonstrates the dark side of social media. Offensive, threatening, anonymous, the hallmarks of social media communication. If you’re the kind of person who checks Facebook every fifteen minutes to see how many likes your last witty comment has received, getting a note with a thumbs down may be ego busting. If you are not into that lifestyle, you may experience a twinge of regret knowing your crappy parking triggered some freak to anonymously offend and threaten you. That feeling will pass.

bus

What’s wrong with this picture? All of our other examples have been photos of actual notes. This thing has a hashtag and is mounted on what appears to be wood paneling. Is this just some freak trying to build their Twitter account? Admittedly it’s a pretty clever phrase but it would pack a lot more credibility if it were hand scrawled on a piece of paper bag or a Big Mac wrapper.Just be happy your infotainment system wasn’t hacked and you had Siri telling you to learn how to park.

designated space

Okay this one is disturbing for a couple of reasons. Clearly the person who crafted the image is full of rage and that’s never a good sign. More importantly, the message complains about you not parking in a designated slot. Designated parking usually exists in two places, where you live and where you work. That means this note sender most likely knows you or knows who you are. Maybe even where you live. Our advice to avoid interaction with this disturbed individual is to make an effort to only park in your designated space.

HIYA

A flashy, 2 color, professional note and it should be. It’s available on Amazon and has free shipping for Prime members. But what does it say about us when we buy bitch notes online. Not personal touch, no creative effort required, just a generic message that isn’t very compelling. This slick windshield note may very easily be mistaken for a piece of junk marketing and get pulled and crumpled before it’s even read. If you’re seriously upset about a bad parking job, put a little effort in expressing yourself. Trust us, you’ll feel better about the whole episode.

Learn-to-park-rich-dude

If you drive a BMW or Mercedes-Benz and you park like a pig you are just begging for abuse. You already know why so we won’t go into that. But seriously, this message has to tug at your heart even if you are a Beemer pilot. What will happen to poor handicapped Granny. If she has to park further away than normal she might fall, have a stroke, or simply wander off because the area is not familiar. You are putting that old lady at risk simply because you couldn’t manage to get your expensive piece of metal inside the lines.

parking job

speed racer

Thats-Cold

Another polite message notifying you that you’re a jerk. And seriously, if you park in a freshly shoveled spot that you did not shovel, what do you expect? Did you think a neighbor suddenly changed his workout routine to include randomly shoveling out parking spaces? And the space was for his family for gosh sake. Imagine Mom and the kiddies having to trudge through knee high snow and slush because they had to park a block away because you took their freshly shoveled space. That’s a cold, cold, thing to do.

Sorry

Parking InstructionsDon’t block a civil engineer’s driveway. Your simple act of thoughtlessness will result in you receiving a white paper on residential street design. How do we know this was left by an engineer? Who else would take the time to diagram the offense and print a narrative in neat, all caps? If you continue blocking his drive, the next message you receive may include a detailed diagram of the proposed point of impact on your vehicle when he backs out his F 250 with the protruding tow hitch

lannisters

hit you
Budget

This is just cruel. The note leaver signs it “sorry” like that makes it all okay. Imagine what it takes to write a note like this. Knowing you are trying to avoid responsibility for bad behavior, you confess to that behavior, say that writing the note is necessary to escape that responsibility, and then sign off with “sorry.” Seriously. How about “too bad for you” or “your hood left paint on my bumper” or something equally honest.

Crappily

Short, to the point, and creative use of grammar.

worst-neighbor

Don’t upset a witch or anyone who believes they can cast a curse. If your car alarm has a habit of going off every time a vehicle bigger than a Jeep Wrangler drives by, get it fixed or suffer the occult consequences. You have to admit, this person started out sympathetically enough but as the idea of another sleepless night crept into their head you could almost imagine the cauldron being brought out and the pantry being searched for eye of newt.

Peanut-Butter-Jelly-Time

We’re not sure what that stuff is spread all across the windshield, but it looks like it was applied with a trowel and that can’t be a good thing. We’re betting whoever wrote the note did so while wearing a rubber glove. When you illegally park in front of a business that is really cost-conscious, you can expect alternative responses to traditional towing. If the car had been towed, you could whistle up an Uber ride to the tow lot, pay the fine, and you’d be on your way. Now, however, you have to find a way to wash/scrape whatever that stuff is, off your windshield and that has to be a bit disgusting.

Kit kats

Paddlin
Simple-Enough

suck at parking

Impactful! That’s the best way to describe this calling card. Big bold letters getting right to the point. The person who went to the trouble and expense of having this card printed up is not just a run of the mill, upset, fellow user of parking spaces. This guy might be dangerous. If you get this note while parked in a lot that you often frequent, like work, you may want to consider getting a new car or changing jobs.