25 Clever Septic Trucks That Will Have You Laughing
There’s a million jobs that need doing which receive little to no glamour at all. And we salute all of the men and women performing these jobs. But to operate a septic truck, that’s a different animal entirely. But to operate a septic truck and have a great sense of humor about it? Now that’s the stuff of legend, and that’s what we’re here to celebrate.
25. The Stool Bus
Cleaning up poop is no fun, but somebody has to do it. And, if you’re going to do it why not do what these guys did and have a lot of fun with it. This is known as the school bus. It’s actually a franchise believe it or not. You can purchase your own based out of a town in Mexico, and begin servicing septic systems in your area. It’s a clever way to market a not so pleasant business, and you can make sure that when the bus leaves, your pipes are clean. Plus, the brand’s trademarked so you don’t have to worry about anyone else sticking decals on the side of their septic trucks to compete with you. Seems like these guys have thought of everything.
24. Dr. Pumper
I’m not totally sure that I would want to think of soft drinks and septic trucks in the same breath, but it’s obvious somebody else did. You are looking at none other than the famous Dr. Pumper. This company serves the Grimesland, North Carolina area and they do a great job of it. They don’t just pump the septic systems either. You can call them to clean out your grease trap, make repairs to your septic system, or just give your septic system a good clean. Poop and grease aren’t my subjects for sure, so why not have a little fun with the concept should you be caught in the unfortunate position of having to clean it up. That’s what this company has done, and it works for them. Just be sure that when you do, and ask for a Dr. Pepper as well. How punny would that be?
23. Yesterday’s Meals on Wheels
So you’ve heard of Meals on Wheels, the company that serves meals to the elderly and shut ins? Well, how about yesterday’s Meals on Wheels. It deals with what happens after the meals on wheels are consumed. Sure, it takes a minute for to sink in but once you get it, it’s all about trying not to lose your lunch at that point. This is a septic company that is quite popular with RV parks. They travel around from park to park cleaning out unmentionable material from RV campers every day. That’s right, every, single, day. It’s an unsettling thought for sure, but somebody has to do it. And again, if you have to live it, why not get creative and have a little bit of humor to break the tension? Just be sure not to break the tension too much or you might be performing a little cleanup yourself.
22. Septic Truck Priorities
If you’re going to place a priority on poop, you want to make sure it’s your number one priority. Then again, using numbers means you have to differentiate because, after all, poop is number two and number one is something else entirely. To keep from being confused, just do what these guys did. The back of their septic truck says it all. “Your number 2 Is Our, number 1 priority”. Also, notice the detail towards the bottom. It is even more striking. Evidently, they can hold up to 2,000 gallons of your number two. Meaning this, if your punny septic truck were to ever have an accident itself, that number two would be a number one mess on the road. That is one ironic situation right there people. I wouldn’t want to be the guy that had to clean that up! Not without a hazmat suit and a really nice paycheck anyway.
21. Satisfaction Guaranteed – Or Else
In Texas, they have a different way of doing things that’s for sure. That’s what makes them unique and lovable folk. Its what they pride themselves in. It’s why we love the state. However, I’m not sure that I would want to be this unique. The back of the septic truck says it all. If you’re not happy with the service they will refund you 110% of your product. Think about that for a minute. I don’t want any of that product back. I certainly don’t want all of my product +10% of someone else’s, er—um nonsense pumped back into my septic system. What does that mean? It’s pretty simple really. It simply means that I’m satisfied even if I’m not satisfied. No guarantee required for me thank you. I’m a safe bet. In fact, I think I’ll just use the restroom at the neighbor’s house to be sure.
20. License Plate Fun
Sometimes it’s best to be great. Check out the tag on the septic truck. SHT2GO says it all. It’s like there’s absolutely no gray area there whatsoever. You may have gray water in your lines, but you’re not going to call this company for that. No, you call them for all your number two needs. You also make sure you stay as far away as possible from this truck if you see it driving down the road.
Tailgating would be a mistake I would think. That’s all I’m going to say about that. Just use your imagination and you can guess what might happen. Any rate, it’s something we have to deal with and these guys take up that task every day. Their slogan could be, if you have to drop a load, get your SHT2GO! If they use that somebody please tell me so I can claim some royalties! I have bills to pay!
19. Political Promises
Considering this presidential election has left us with choices ranging from bad to worse, this septic truck company is a reminder to those who fall under the class of delusion. We tend to hold on to the notion that politicians mean what they say, when in fact, nothing could be further from the truth. No matter what a politician says, you must remember that the promises end up looking a lot like the insides of this septic truck I’m sure.
The outside can be all grins giggles, polished and shiny, but in the end it’s all a big load of crap. Be sure to remember that in this presidential election when it comes time to vote. No matter who you pull the lever for, the end result is what is inside this truck. The promises look pretty, but in the end they smell as rancid and raw as sewage in a septic truck. Nice!!!
18. Talking Crap – Literally
So here is an interesting caveat about this truck. It can not be found in the United States. This septic company hails from the island of St. Martin. The pic was snapped by a couple who happened to be vacationing on the island at the time and caught the septic truck en route to its next destination. You have to admit that the slogan is catchy.
While other companies talk a lot of crap, these guys come in and clean it up. Direct and straight forward, it is quite a contrast to island life. Most of the time we picture a beach with a breeze, some fruity cocktail in our hand, a gorgeous tan lady by our side… not poop. Kind of just snaps you back to reality when I mention poop, huh? Yeah, well, this is a septic truck list, not a bikini beauty beach list, so what can I say?
17. A Welcome Thief
Okay so you might think this name is pretty crass and clever at the same time. We would agree with you. This company hails from Melbourne, Australia, and are you ready for this? They have been pumping sewage for 50 years. That’s 50 years of burgling turds folks. After that amount of time, you know a thing or two about waste. You have wrangled every turd, in every shape, in every form imaginable. Sorry if it makes you lose your lunch, but its true. However, the plot thickens.
As silly as this name is would you believe there’s one here in the states too? Well, there is in fact is another turd burglar right here in the good old US of A. You can find them in Bismarck, North Dakota. The only difference is their logo. It just goes to prove that if you’re going to be cleaning up turds for a living, a clever name helps. Well that, and a blind nose.
16. Flush Beats a Full House
Well at least this slogan makes sense. A flush beats a full house when it comes to septic systems any day. However, that’s only true as long as your septic line is clear and your tank is low. Get too many people in your house, and feed them enough beans, and you can have a nightmare in the making on your hands. And I do mean a nightmare that would make the likes of Jason Vorhess or Freddy Kruger keel over. No more sequels! In those instances, it’s good to call Street Septic Company to handle the job. This Roxboro, North Carolina business has been cleaning septic lines since 1982. They offer septic services, complete with backhoe service designed to meet commercial needs. They can dig ditches, install pump systems and clean out your lines. True to their word, they really believe a flush beats a full house any day. Should you find yourself stranded on the toilet in Roxboro, give them a call. You can thank us later.
15. Peppy Le Pew
So you’re cruising down the road in Cortez, Colorado and you smell something foul. Do you panic? No. Simply call the fine folks over at Le Pew and they will solve it for you. They are a septic service based out of Cortez, and they know a thing or two about poop. They can sink a tank for you, or clean out an old one. The skunk is hard to forget, which makes the name easy to remember.
You might remember him from the old Bugs Bunny cartoon. Pepe was always running around trying to catch a lady. Now he seems to have hit hard times like other cartoon actors and is relegated to being the pitch man for stink! At least he picked a good company. Le Pew prides themselves in serving the Four Corners region and have been doing so for 29 years. Plus, keep this in mind… they are affordable. That means you won’t have to drop another load after paying the bill.
14. Keep Your Distance
And here we have another out of work cartoon actor who has landed a job pitching septic truck services. Maybe there is an underground network we know nothing about. At any rate, Yosemite Sam makes it pretty obvious that you should maintain a safe distance if you see this truck rolling down the highway in front of you. If you hit this truck, you won’t be crying over spilled milk, that’s for sure. You will be crying for entirely different reasons. However, all you have to do is call the number on the side of that septic truck and Danny’s Septic Service will come and clean it up. Kind of ironic though. He will be cleaning that same mess twice… You might get a whopper of a bill for that!
13. Mountain Poo
When you need to do the doo, there’s Mountain Poo. I’m not sure if that’s the slogan for this septic service but it should be. Or something along those lines.
12. Spooky Septic
Looking at this truck proves there are a lot of scary things in this world. Poop is one of them, especially if you are Franz Septic Service in Purceville, Virginia. To them though, it is just another day of shoveling, pumping, and cleaning out poop. They can handle the poop spectre with ease! If your line is clogged, they will blast that crap ghost out the other end. Pardon me folks, I seem to have gotten carried away. It’s what happens when I see any word written in a font that looks like it is from the movie Ghostbusters. I feel the urge to look for my trusty ecto-pack and start shooting ghosts. In this instance it’s poop, but don’t worry. I’m not going to shoot your poop. I’ll leave the heavy lifting on this one to the fine folks over at Franz. I might make too much of a mess.
11. Straight To The Point
You don’t often think of Florida as a stinky state. Usually, you think of oranges and the beach. But you know, there are a lot of retirees there. Snow birds flock in droves year after year, so I guess somebody has to take care of the poop issue. That would be the people you see in the photo. I love their slogan. It is clever, but subtle. The name says it all. They “want your stinking business”. And from my observations earlier, there should be plenty to go around. I’m thinking a co-op of sorts. The prune juice salesman and the septic truck company should market their services to every retirement complex in the state. One gets things moving, the other cleans it up. It would be one of the most beautiful marriages of necessity around.
10. Very Punny
Sometimes, no matter how hard you try, you simply miss the mark. This septic truck is a perfect example of that very thing. The slogan, “Where your fecal matters,” just comes shy of making a point. It’s like you’re watching some bad Star Trek episode where nothing makes sense and Captain Kirk keeps speaking with his trademark stuttering gestures. You know something is supposed to happen, but you’re not sure exactly what that something is. That’s kind of the message you get from this septic truck. I mean, I know they clean up poop and all, but what does the slogan have to do with anything? It’s like I’m trying to hunt for a Golden Nugget that simply isn’t there. Now, that’s a nice image to conjure up in your mind, isn’t it? Trying to dig a Golden Nugget out of all of that, well you know. Maybe it’s best just to go with a very safe slogan than what I just dropped in your mind. It will take years for you to rub that image out!
9. Smooth Flow
Check out this septic truck owned by Smooth Flow Septic Pumping Service. You get it? Smooth Flow?!!?!! If you just chuckled, congratulations. You are right on the fourth-grade joke level and will probably stay there for a while. In fact, you probably have been there for a while and we are okay with that, especially because this is a septic truck list. We expect a chuckle or two out of silly stupid names. To really make your sides split, guess what they call this one? They call it the stink mobile. Kind of like the Batmobile or the Mystery Machine, yet this one is all about poop. The good thing is this. If you ever find yourself stuck on the toilet in Newnan Georgia, now you know who to call. They may not be able to help you loosen your intestinal flow, but when you finally explode and clog up the lines, they can certainly handle that. Now that you’re laughing really good, we will let you continue onto the next one. It might be at a 5th grade level, we will let you decide.
8. Dirty Business
I’m not really sure what’s more comical here, the septic truck, or the picture of the truck with the guy posing next to it. I’m not so sure that I would be proud of the slogan “our business is your business” if you know what I mean. Yet, this guy certainly is. And to be honest, I can’t say that I blame him. I mean take a closer look here. This is not your average septic truck.
This thing has two rear dooley axels. That’s a 4,500 gallons tank you’re looking at. And you thought you had to deal with a lot of sh— well you know, we will keep it PG for this post. This guy can hold up to 4,500 gallons of the stuff. That’s one big load of you know what my friends. So it appears after all that I might be proud to be standing by my first septic truck. There’s not one larger to be found anywhere around the Colorado area. That means you could corner the market for sure.
7. Smells Like Daisies
Well, well, well… What do we have here? This is septic service with a flair. The fine folks at Favreau Septic have themed out their truck rather nicely. Now we know that all things poop don’t automatically translate into everything coming up daisies. However, if you spread enough poop in your yard you will have plenty of daisies for sure.
You also have one massive stank before it calms down so I would call these guys anyway. It’s better to have a clean septic line than one growing daisies right and left. It’s also quite funny to see a truck feed out with flowers. I’m sure the business is quite fragrant, but not in a floral manner. Note, the driver of this vehicle probably has to go down the road with a nose clip and some ether on hand just in case it gets to be too overwhelming. I bet he skips lunch too, just saying.
6. Give These Guys Crap
It’s good to know that in the septic business there is one company that doesn’t discriminate. This Tombtall, TX company is equal opportunity friends, at least when it comes to poop. They declare it right on the back of their septic trucks. Of course, I have to be honest with you. I have never looked at feces as something that you would discriminate against anyway.
In fact, I’ve never thought much about it at all other than I need to wipe when I’m done. I’m glad that these guys will take crap from anyone, but that doesn’t mean I have to. Heck, I don’t even like taking crap from me but I do so about three or four times a day. Maybe a little bit too much information but at least you can go to bed in peace tonight. Also, if you have a diverse family, try giving these guys a call. Evidently they will take crap from anyone.
5. Black Gold
This one takes the cake right here people. I don’t know about you, but Black Gold is absolutely hysterical. Usually reserved for oil, or the Beverly Hillbillies opening song, this company is all about poop. And check out the logo. Every time you poop, it makes their day. You are the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. Every plop and flush makes them happier than a leprechaun on St. Patrick’s Day. It is their black gold! Speaking of, if you excrete or secrete anything that is solid black, please go to the doctor immediately. There is something seriously wrong with you. I don’t know what, but black gold poop is not normal!
4. Turd Busters
So we just mentioned Ghostbusters a few moments ago. Here are the Turd Busters! Nothing scares these guys, at least when it comes to poop. They handle residential, commercial, industrial, outhouse and trailer park venues. They can also make general plumbing repairs, perform repair services on plumbing fixtures and clean out your drains. They say, “If water runs through it they can do it,” and with a truck like this, we are inclined to believe them. It’s good to know that while some people aren’t afraid of no ghost, other people aren’t afraid of rear end pot roast. Yeah, I said it! Somebody had to, and if that somebody has to be me then so be it. We are talking about turds after all, so you might as well get used to it. Anyway, three more to go and they are real winners. Keep clicking to check them out.
3. Busting a Rhyme
I feel like whoever came up with this is a poet in the making. Or, at least they think they are a poet in the making. It’s probably somebody that runs the family business or was in charge of smacking a decal on the back of the truck. We have to say though, they did come up with something very clever! It’s pretty straight forward, catchy and rhymes, so it’s easy to remember. Hey, it makes about as much sense as any Kanye West song when you think about it, probably more so. Maybe this guy could be a breakout septic truck rap star if this gig doesn’t work out for him, you never know. One thing we do know is if you need to get your system flowing, these guys can definitely handle it. You don’t go putting such a straightforward slogan on the back of your truck unless you are up for the task. If you’re in trouble, give them a call.
2. Smells Like Daisies 2
Here is another stink mobile. It seems that both Pepe and his girlfriend have decided to be pitchman for this septic company, giving up cartoons completely. It also seems that I would have a hard time driving this truck. I mean take a look at it. It’s covered in flowers and looks kind of girly. You would expect to see Hannah Montana driving this before any self-respecting guy. Yet, take a closer look and you will notice that is indeed a guy manning the wheel. I guess the truck is used to pick up ladies on the weekend. Maybe it works, who knows. I’m not here to judge his dating skills, I just want the poop cleaned out of my toilet. That is really the extent of what our relationship should be. My pipes are clogged, you clean them out for me. If you can do that, we will be friends no matter what your silly septic truck looks like.
1. The Turdle Tank
Take another look at this one before you pass it off as dull and boring. Did you read that correctly? You see the subtle difference? There’s no second T in that word. That is the D staring you in the face. This is the Turdle Tank. I guess it is supposed to be a turtle made from a turd. It looks like a regular turtle to me, although I’m not sure what a turd turtle would look like. Maybe I’m just trying to see how many times I can fit the word turd into this post about the Turdle Tank. Maybe I’m being a bit returded. Maybe I just went too far with that turd insertion. Maybe I just did it again with that turd mention. Maybe you should just call these guys if you need your septic tank cleaned and we will leave it at that. They clean up turds.
Bonus Truck on Next Page!